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EVERYTHING WRONG WITH "Hearts Are on Gifts":


Slurpy / Hey guys! May I please have some popcorn to share with my friends?

Party Hat / No trouble!

[But there is trouble; how is a popcorn stand made of yarn stable enough?]


(Controlly presses a button which thaws all the cylinders. The contestants in them instantly start saying things, such as "My oh my what just happened?")

[Controlly thaws all the cylinders with just one button press!]


Controlly / Well, guys, I understand how you feel. But it's more important that you're safe than that your friend's safe. Anyways, you two will be traversing a set of monkey bars.

[Hey, that's not fair... Baguette can reach higher because he's thinner!]


Controlly / Baguette has won the tiebreaker, so he gets the last box...

(box passed to Baguette)

Controlly / While Boat is eliminated.

(XL cylinder falls on Boat)

Boat / Awww...

(cylinder freezes)

[Baguette and Boat are at the monkey bars...]

Controlly / Alright, Hot Dog, Popsicley, Chocolatey and Baguette, you can all open your boxes now!

[Now suddenly both of them are at the elimination buttons!]


Pizza (to the camera of the video) / Everyone, all you viewers out there, thanks for voting me back in! I owe each of the 92 of you a slice of pizza, but I don't have enough for all of you, so you'll just have to split it however. (throws slices at the camera and they disappear)

[He was recently unfrozen; how did he get a pizza box?]


Shieldy / Ooh! I wonder what that would be?

Chocolatey / Is it gonna be tree decorating?

[Chocolatey, why are you looking at your ornament? It won't talk to you!]

Hot Dog / Maybe carol singing?

Pizza / It better not be carol singing...

[Pizza, don't be scared of little assumptions!]


Hot Dog / Oh my mustard- what just happened to Baguette?

Chocolatey / What?? Whoah, now I don't see him anywhere.

[What do you mean "what??" You already saw him vanish!]


Chocolatey / Now look what just happened to Popsicley?!

Hot Dog / What?!

[Same thing!]


Controlly (shows up on a screen) / Hey, Team Chocolate! Like the package vehicles I put you in?

[How did Controlly do this? There are no cameras around him!]


Slurpy (picking out stories involving candy eating) / Here's some that Chocolatey will like...

[Let's hope Chocolatey won't rip out the candy and try to eat it.]


Party Hat / Are you seriously wrapping that many jars of candy, Shieldy? That's more than enough for the entire team!

Shieldy / Come on, they'll want to be provided for a long time!

Party Hat / Alright then... (collecting a Santa chocolate lollipop)*

[How are you guys carrying such heavy bags?]


Party Hat / Hey guys! How was your music collecting?

Shelly / It was okay. But it was heavy.

Pizza / Looks like you two already got candy for Chocolatey!

[Can't you get some more, just to be friendly?]


Pizza / Hey guys, I found a lot more! (puts a large collection into his bag) This is a really large Christmas shopping if you'll ask me!

[Well, don't overdo yourself!]

Party Hat / Wow! I'm exhausted.

Shieldy / I think all of us are...

Pizza / Well, I can see Controlly's chart, and it tells me that we're in the lead by 125 grams.

Slurpy / Plus time's almost up! Does that mean we're bound to win now?

Shelly / Yeah, I think so!

[Don't give up! You can get some more!]


Hot Dog / Aww, this is terrible!

[Hot Dog, slow down! You're gonna crash in the wall!]


Hot Dog (reading) / Make-up and polish... Floating devices... Cooking kits. Ah hah! Pizza will love those! (rides to the cooking kits section) (looking at a kit for making pizza) There's a perfect one! (uses a lot of strength to get that kit and put it in his vehicle)

[Hot Dog uses tons of strength to get a package in his vehicle...]

Chocolatey (going down the aisle quickly) / Please show me something for Slurpy, please, please, please! (halts by a kit of straws for constructing) YES! I FOUND SOMETHING! (flings it into her vehicle)

[but Chocolatey is strong enough to just throw it in there without breaking anything!]


(Hot Dog, Popsicley, Chocolatey and Baguette put their hands in the center one by one, then fling them in the air in happiness)

[Are they football players?]


Controlly (showing a screen of Party Hat, Shieldy, Shelly, Slurpy, Pizza) / So viewers, vote for a member of Team Vanilla to be eliminated.

[See, Team Vanilla? That's what you get for just stopping!]

Controlly / Voting ends on December 8, and Episode 10 will come out on January 1, 2014 - BOTO's first anniversary!

[Should not say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY until the time really comes. It's a month early.]


Hot Dog (reading the hamburger-cheeseburger story) / Wow... this book is amazing! Thanks a lot, Pizza!

Pizza / You're welcome!

Hot Dog / Oh, and I got something even better for you! (moving the wrapped package with a pizza kit)

Pizza / Seriously? Why thank you! I wonder what it is! (starts unwrapping it)

[Hot Dog and Pizza, you should wait for the rest of the contestants and have a big present-unwrapping occasion!]


COUNT: 21 *AW C'MON!*

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